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Subject:

A Little Friday Humour

From:

"Gervais, John" <[log in to unmask]>

Reply-To:

Records Management Program <[log in to unmask]>

Date:

Fri, 20 Sep 2002 07:25:57 -0400

Content-Type:

text/plain

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I am taking the liberty and hope you don't mind to bring a little Friday
Humour to you. It has been a long week! Have a wonderful day. Remember to
be a good team player today, as one hand can't clap! Chow!
The Rules of Work
The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the
other 90% of the time.
If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.
Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and
what you're going to do.
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month
than you did before.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will
happen to you the rest of the day.
When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking
about themselves.
Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is
supposed to be doing.
Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good,
you will get out of it.
You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number
of pens that person is carrying.
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
Following the rules will not get the job done.
Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by
reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for
everything that goes wrong.


John A. Gervais
Program Manager
Business Development and Strategic Planning Division,
Information Management Directorate,
Finance and Administration Branch,
Canada Customs and Revenue Agency,
16th Floor, Albion Tower, 25 Nicolas Street,
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, K1A 0L5

        ' (613) 957-6621
        * [log in to unmask]
        " http://www.ccra-adrc.gc.ca

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