From:
        Bernard Paris <[log in to unmask]>

8:06 AM

> .<< Meyer, a lonely widower, was walking home along Delancy Street
>  one day wishing something wonderful would happen into his life when
>  he passed a Pet Store and heard a squawking voice shouting out in
>  Yiddish:
>
>  "Quawwwwk...vus macht du...yeah, you...outside, standing like a
>  schmuck...eh?"
>
>  Meyer rubbed his eyes and ears. He couldn't believe it!. The
>  proprietor sprang out of the door and grabbed Meyer by the sleeve.
>  "Come in here, fella, and check out this parrot..."
>
>  Meyer stood in front of an African Grey that cocked his little head
>  and said: "Vus? Kenst reddin Yiddish?"
>
>  Meyer turned excitedly to the store owner. "He speaks Yiddish?"
>
>  "What did you expect? Chinese maybe?"
>
>  In a matter of moments, Meyer had placed five hundred dollars down
>  on the counter and carried the parrot in his cage away with him. All
>  night he talked with the parrot. In Yiddish. He told the parrot about
>  his father's adventures coming to America. About how beautiful his
>  mother was when she was a young bride. About his family. About his
>  years of working in the garment center. About Florida. The parrot
>  listened and commented. They shared some walnuts. The parrot told
>  him of living in the pet store, how he hated the weekends. They both
>  went to sleep.
>
>  Next morning, Meyer began saying his prayers. The parrot demanded
>  to know what he was doing and when Meyer explained, the parrot
>  wanted to pray too. Meyer went out and hand-made a miniature
>  yarmulke [skullcap] for the parrot. The parrot wanted to learn to read
>  Hebrew so Meyer spent weeks and months, sitting and teaching the
>  parrot, teaching him Torah. In time, Meyer came to love and count on
>  the parrot as a friend and a Jew. He was lonely no more.
>
>  One morning, on Rosh Hashanah, Meyer rose and got dressed and
>  was about to leave when the parrot demanded to go with him. Meyer
>  explained that a synagogue was not place for a bird but the parrot
>  made a terrific argument and was carried to the synagogue on
>  Meyer's shoulder. Needless to say, they made quite a spectacle,
>  and Meyer was questioned by everyone, including the Rabbi. At first,
>  he refused to allow a bird into the building on the High Holy Days but
>  Meyer convinced him to let him in this one time, swearing that parrot
>  could pray. Wagers were made with Meyer. Thousands of dollars
>  were bet (even odds) that the parrot could NOT pray, could not speak
>  Yiddish or Hebrew, etc.
>
>  All eyes were on the African Grey during services. The parrot perched
>  on Meyer's shoulder as one prayer and song passed - Meyer heard
>  not a peep from the bird. He began to become annoyed, slapping at
>  his shoulder and mumbling under his breath, "Pray already!"
>
>  The parrot said nothing.
>
>  "Pray...parrot, you can pray, so pray...come on, everybody's looking
>  at you!"
>
>  The parrot said nothing.
>
>  After Rosh Hashanah services were concluded, Meyer found that he
>  owed his synagogue buddies and the Rabbi over four thousand
>  dollars. He marched home, furious, saying nothing. Finally several
>  blocks from the temple the bird began to sing an old Yiddish song
>  and was happy as a lark. Meyer stopped and looked at him.
>
>  "You miserable bird, you cost me over four thousand dollars. Why?
>  After I taught you the morning prayers, and taught you to read
>  Hebrew and the Torah. And after you begged me to bring you to a
>  synagogue on Rosh Hashanah, why? Why did you do this to me?"
>
>  "Don't be a schmuck," the parrot replied. "Think of the odds on Yom
>  Kippur!"
>   >>
>
>   ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Subject: Jewish Parrot Speaks.........
> Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1999 21:46:33 -0800
> From: Sharon Baranoff <[log in to unmask]>
> Organization: lausd.k12.ca.us
> To: Carol Meyer <[log in to unmask]>, Cathy Rauch <[log in to unmask]>,
>      Claire & Jery <[log in to unmask]>, Doria Krohn
>      <[log in to unmask]>,
>      Earl Blue <[log in to unmask]>, Gay Swenson <[log in to unmask]>,
>      Georgie Michelson <[log in to unmask]>,
>      Harriet Weiss <[log in to unmask]>,
>      Jan & Bill Keith <[log in to unmask]>,
>      Janice M Gordon <[log in to unmask]>, Jerry Dobkin
>      <[log in to unmask]>,
>      Jerry Franks <[log in to unmask]>, Jim Weiss <[log in to unmask]>,
>      Marty Rauch <[log in to unmask]>, Rashkows <[log in to unmask]>,
>      Sue Forbes <[log in to unmask]>
>
> Meyer, a lonely widower, was walking home along Delancy Street
> one day wishing something wonderful would happen into his life when
> he passed a Pet Store and heard a squawking voice shouting out in
> Yiddish:
>
> "Quawwwwk...vus macht du...yeah, you...outside, standing like a
> schmuck...eh?"
>
> Meyer rubbed his eyes and ears. He couldn't believe it!. The
> proprietor sprang out of the door and grabbed Meyer by the sleeve.
> "Come in here, fella, and check out this parrot..."
>
> Meyer stood in front of an African Grey that cocked his little head
> and said: "Vus? Kenst reddin Yiddish?"
>
> Meyer turned excitedly to the store owner. "He speaks Yiddish?"
>
> "What did you expect? Chinese maybe?"
>
> In a matter of moments, Meyer had placed five hundred dollars down
> on the counter and carried the parrot in his cage away with him. All
> night he talked with the parrot. In Yiddish. He told the parrot about
> his father's adventures coming to America. About how beautiful his
> mother was when she was a young bride. About his family. About his
> years of working in the garment center. About Florida. The parrot
> listened and commented. They shared some walnuts. The parrot told
> him of living in the pet store, how he hated the weekends. They both
> went to sleep.
>
> Next morning, Meyer began saying his prayers. The parrot demanded
> to know what he was doing and when Meyer explained, the parrot
> wanted to pray too. Meyer went out and hand-made a miniature
> yarmulke [skullcap] for the parrot. The parrot wanted to learn to read
> Hebrew so Meyer spent weeks and months, sitting and teaching the
> parrot, teaching him Torah. In time, Meyer came to love and count on
> the parrot as a friend and a Jew. He was lonely no more.
>
> One morning, on Rosh Hashanah, Meyer rose and got dressed and
> was about to leave when the parrot demanded to go with him. Meyer
> explained that a synagogue was not place for a bird but the parrot
> made a terrific argument and was carried to the synagogue on
> Meyer's shoulder. Needless to say, they made quite a spectacle,
> and Meyer was questioned by everyone, including the Rabbi. At first,
> he refused to allow a bird into the building on the High Holy Days but
> Meyer convinced him to let him in this one time, swearing that parrot
> could pray. Wagers were made with Meyer. Thousands of dollars
> were bet (even odds) that the parrot could NOT pray, could not speak
> Yiddish or Hebrew, etc.
>
> All eyes were on the African Grey during services. The parrot perched
> on Meyer's shoulder as one prayer and song passed - Meyer heard
> not a peep from the bird. He began to become annoyed, slapping at
> his shoulder and mumbling under his breath, "Pray already!"
>
> The parrot said nothing.
>
> "Pray...parrot, you can pray, so pray...come on, everybody's looking
> at you!"
>
> The parrot said nothing.
>
> After Rosh Hashanah services were concluded, Meyer found that he
> owed his synagogue buddies and the Rabbi over four thousand
> dollars. He marched home, furious, saying nothing. Finally several
> blocks from the temple the bird began to sing an old Yiddish song
> and was happy as a lark. Meyer stopped and looked at him.
>
> "You miserable bird, you cost me over four thousand dollars. Why?
> After I taught you the morning prayers, and taught you to read
> Hebrew and the Torah. And after you begged me to bring you to a
> synagogue on Rosh Hashanah, why? Why did you do this to me?"
>
> "Don't be a schmuck," the parrot replied. "Think of the odds on Yom
> Kippur!"