Take the one that applies, print it out and tape it above your monitor

Cowboy Wisdom

 If you find yourself in a hole, first thing to do is stop diggin'

 Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco

 It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep

 Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut

 Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you're out of good whiskey

 If you think you're a person of influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog

 Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad

 Always drink upstream from the herd

 Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly

 There's two theories to arguin' with a woman -- neither one works

 Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back

 The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in
your pocket

 Never miss a good chance to shut up

 Always look at what ya eat; it may be critical to know what it was

 Most smart asses just don't fit all that well in a saddle

 Sure, we could start making fun of Yankees, but where's the challenge ?

 Biggest trouble with an open mind is your brains may fall out

 You can always tell a tenderfoot... they think Heinz ketchup is spicy

 Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with

 A closed mouth gathers no feet

 Most times, with free advice you get exactly what you paid for

 Never shoot yourself in the head to stop a headache

 If you aim high, make sure you've got plenty of spare ammunition

 Some people get carried away with their own importance...
Trouble is, it's never far enough

 When you're throwin' your weight around...
Be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else

 When you give a lesson in meanness to a person...
Don't be surprised if they learn their lesson

 If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, look back every now and then...
Just to make sure it's still there

 Don't worry 'bout bitin' off more than you can chew...
Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n than ya think

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