From Jim Melko:
Many of you who know me personally know that I have a second career as
a country songwriter. I take my craft very seriously, and regard my
struggle over the past decade to become a professional as quite literally
the hardest thing I have ever done.
While I would not necessarily want to add to the derogatory stereotype
of country, we in the business have a healthy sense of humor and do a
pretty good job of not taking ourselves TOO seriously. Sound familiar?
It has been one of my delights as a developmental educator to find
that our field in general seems to promote an unusually strong sense
of humor.
So I apologize in advance to any of you bothered by my introduction
of a message completely unrelated to our field or to this discussion
group, but I thought you would all enjoy a good belly laugh at the
expense of my other profession. Enjoy!
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#1 2-APR-1995 19:15:29.26
NEWMAIL
From: jimnolan ([log in to unmask]@IN@IC2)
Date: 31-MAR-1995 13:57:48.74
To: Show Header for Recipient List
Cc:
Subj: COVER NOTE - DO-IT-YOURSELF COUNTRY & WE
Reply requested: not set Reply by date:
>DATE: Friday, 31 March 95 11:53:19 CST
>
>> DO-IT-YOURSELF COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG
>>
>> I met her __________ _____; I can still recall _________
>> (1) (2) (3)
>>
>> 1. 2. 3.
>> on the highway in September that purple dress
>> in Sheboygan at McDonald's that little hat
>> outside Fresno ridin' shotgun that burlap bra
>> at a truck stop wrestlin' gators those training pants
>> on probation all hunched over the stolen goods
>> in a jail cell poppin' uppers that plastic nose
>> in a nightmare sort of pregnant the Stassin pin
>> incognito with joggers the neon sign
>> in the Stone Age stoned on oatmeal that creepy smile
>> in a treehouse with Merv Griffin the hearing aid
>>
>>
>> she wore; She was ______ _____,
>> (4) (5)
>>
>> 4. 5
>> sobbin' at the toll booth in the twilight
>> drinkin' Dr. Pepper but I loved her
>> weighted down with Twinkies by the off-ramp
>> breakin' out with acne near Poughkeepsie
>> crawlin' through the prairie with her cobra
>> smellin' kind of funny when she shot me
>> crashin' through the guardrail on her elbows
>> chewin' on a hangnail with Led-Zeppelin
>> talkin' in Swahili with Miss Piggy
>> slurpin' up linguini in her muu-muu
>>
>>
>> and I knew _______; _______ I'd ______ forever;
>> (6) (7) (8)
>>
>> 6. 7. 8.
>> no guy would ever love her more I promised her stay with her
>> that she would be an easy score I knew deep down warp her mind
>> she'd bought her dentures in a store She asked me if swear off booze
>> that she would be a crashing bore I told her shrink change my sex
>> I'd never rate her more than "4" The judge declared punch her out
>> they'd hate her guts in Baltimore My Pooh Bear said live off her
>> it was a raven, nothing more I shrieked in pain have my rash
>> we really lost the last World War The painters knew stay a dwarf
>> I'd have to scrape her off the floor A Klingon said hate her dog
>> what strong deodorants were for My hamster thought pick my nose
>> that she was rotten to the core The blood test showed play "Go Fish"
>> that I would upchuck on the floor Her rabbi said salivate
>>
>>
>> She said to me ____; But who'd have thought she'd _____
>> (9) (10)
>>
>> 9. 10.
>> our love would never die run off
>> there was no other guy wind up
>> man wasn't meant to fly boogie
>> that Nixon didn't lie yodel
>> her basset hound was shy sky dive
>> that Rolaids made her high turn green
>> she'd have a swiss on rye freak out
>> she loved my one blue eye blast off
>> her brother's name was Hy make it
>> she liked "Spy vs. Spy" black out
>> that birthdays made her cry bobsled
>> she couldn't stand my tie grovel
>>
>> ___________; _________ goodbye.
>> (11) (12)
>>
>> 11. 12.
>> with my best friend You'd think at least that she'd have said
>> in my Edsel I never had the chance to say
>> on a surfboard She told her fat friend Grace to say
>> on "The Gong Show" I now can kiss my credit cards
>> with her dentist I guess I was too smashed to say
>> with a robot She fell beneath the wheels and cried
>> with no clothes on She sent a hired thug to say
>> at her health club She freaked out on the lawn and screamed
>> in her Maytag I pushed her off the bridge and waved
>> with her guru But that's the way that pygmies say
>> while in labor She sealed me in the vault and smirked
>
>
>------ End of Forwarded Message
******************************************************************
Paul Estro- " It's got a yellow front fender
[log in to unmask] and a grey one on the back.
But my income tax is coming
and I'm gonna paint her black.
My sweet little 66." -Steve Earle
