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From Jim Melko:
 
Many of you who know me personally know that I have a second career as
a country songwriter.  I take my craft very seriously, and regard my
struggle over the past decade to become a professional as quite literally
the hardest thing I have ever done.
 
While I would not necessarily want to add to the derogatory stereotype
of country, we in the business have a healthy sense of humor and do a
pretty good job of not taking ourselves TOO seriously.  Sound familiar?
It has been one of my delights as a developmental educator to find
that our field in general seems to promote an unusually strong sense
of humor.
 
So I apologize in advance to any of you bothered by my introduction
of a message completely unrelated to our field or to this discussion
group, but I thought you would all enjoy a good belly laugh at the
expense of my other profession.  Enjoy!
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    #1           2-APR-1995 19:15:29.26
NEWMAIL
 
From:   jimnolan ([log in to unmask]@IN@IC2)
Date:   31-MAR-1995 13:57:48.74
To:     Show Header for Recipient List
Cc:
Subj:   COVER NOTE - DO-IT-YOURSELF COUNTRY & WE
Reply requested: not set            Reply by date:
 
 
 
>DATE: Friday, 31 March 95 11:53:19 CST
>
>> DO-IT-YOURSELF COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG
>>
>> I met her __________    _____;  I can still recall _________
>>              (1)        (2)                        (3)
>>
>> 1.                      2.                      3.
>> on the highway          in September            that purple dress
>> in Sheboygan            at McDonald's           that little hat
>> outside Fresno          ridin' shotgun          that burlap bra
>> at a truck stop         wrestlin' gators        those training pants
>> on probation            all hunched over        the stolen goods
>> in a jail cell          poppin' uppers          that plastic nose
>> in a nightmare          sort of pregnant        the Stassin pin
>> incognito               with joggers            the neon sign
>> in the Stone Age        stoned on oatmeal       that creepy smile
>> in a treehouse          with Merv Griffin       the hearing aid
>>
>>
>> she wore; She was ______  _____,
>>                     (4)    (5)
>>
>> 4.                                  5
>> sobbin' at the toll booth           in the twilight
>> drinkin' Dr. Pepper                 but I loved her
>> weighted down with Twinkies         by the off-ramp
>> breakin' out with acne              near Poughkeepsie
>> crawlin' through the prairie        with her cobra
>> smellin' kind of funny              when she shot me
>> crashin' through the guardrail      on her elbows
>> chewin' on a hangnail               with Led-Zeppelin
>> talkin' in Swahili                  with Miss Piggy
>> slurpin' up linguini                in her muu-muu
>>
>>
>> and I knew _______; _______ I'd ______ forever;
>>              (6)      (7)        (8)
>>
>> 6.                                   7.                    8.
>> no guy would ever love her more      I promised her        stay with her
>> that she would be an easy score      I knew deep down      warp her mind
>> she'd bought her dentures in a store She asked me if       swear off booze
>> that she would be a crashing bore    I told her shrink     change my sex
>> I'd never rate her more than "4"     The judge declared    punch her out
>> they'd hate her guts in Baltimore    My Pooh Bear said     live off her
>> it was a raven, nothing more         I shrieked in pain    have my rash
>> we really lost the last World War    The painters knew     stay a dwarf
>> I'd have to scrape her off the floor A Klingon said        hate her dog
>> what strong deodorants were for      My hamster thought    pick my nose
>> that she was rotten to the core      The blood test showed play "Go Fish"
>> that I would upchuck on the floor    Her rabbi said        salivate
>>
>>
>> She said to me ____; But who'd have thought she'd _____
>>                 (9)                               (10)
>>
>> 9.                            10.
>> our love would never die      run off
>> there was no other guy        wind up
>> man wasn't meant to fly       boogie
>> that Nixon didn't lie         yodel
>> her basset hound was shy      sky dive
>> that Rolaids made her high    turn green
>> she'd have a swiss on rye     freak out
>> she loved my one blue eye     blast off
>> her brother's name was Hy     make it
>> she liked "Spy vs. Spy"       black out
>> that birthdays made her cry   bobsled
>> she couldn't stand my tie     grovel
>>
>> ___________; _________ goodbye.
>>    (11)        (12)
>>
>> 11.                       12.
>> with my best friend       You'd think at least that she'd have said
>> in my Edsel               I never had the chance to say
>> on a surfboard            She told her fat friend Grace to say
>> on "The Gong Show"        I now can kiss my credit cards
>> with her dentist          I guess I was too smashed to say
>> with a robot              She fell beneath the wheels and cried
>> with no clothes on        She sent a hired thug to say
>> at her health club        She freaked out on the lawn and screamed
>> in her Maytag             I pushed her off the bridge and waved
>> with her guru             But that's the way that pygmies say
>> while in labor            She sealed me in the vault and smirked
>
>
>------ End of Forwarded Message
 
 
******************************************************************
Paul Estro-                 " It's got a yellow front fender
[log in to unmask]          and a grey one on the back.
                              But my income tax is coming
                              and I'm gonna paint her black.
                              My sweet little 66." -Steve Earle