From Jim Melko: Many of you who know me personally know that I have a second career as a country songwriter. I take my craft very seriously, and regard my struggle over the past decade to become a professional as quite literally the hardest thing I have ever done. While I would not necessarily want to add to the derogatory stereotype of country, we in the business have a healthy sense of humor and do a pretty good job of not taking ourselves TOO seriously. Sound familiar? It has been one of my delights as a developmental educator to find that our field in general seems to promote an unusually strong sense of humor. So I apologize in advance to any of you bothered by my introduction of a message completely unrelated to our field or to this discussion group, but I thought you would all enjoy a good belly laugh at the expense of my other profession. Enjoy! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- #1 2-APR-1995 19:15:29.26 NEWMAIL From: jimnolan ([log in to unmask]@IN@IC2) Date: 31-MAR-1995 13:57:48.74 To: Show Header for Recipient List Cc: Subj: COVER NOTE - DO-IT-YOURSELF COUNTRY & WE Reply requested: not set Reply by date: >DATE: Friday, 31 March 95 11:53:19 CST > >> DO-IT-YOURSELF COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG >> >> I met her __________ _____; I can still recall _________ >> (1) (2) (3) >> >> 1. 2. 3. >> on the highway in September that purple dress >> in Sheboygan at McDonald's that little hat >> outside Fresno ridin' shotgun that burlap bra >> at a truck stop wrestlin' gators those training pants >> on probation all hunched over the stolen goods >> in a jail cell poppin' uppers that plastic nose >> in a nightmare sort of pregnant the Stassin pin >> incognito with joggers the neon sign >> in the Stone Age stoned on oatmeal that creepy smile >> in a treehouse with Merv Griffin the hearing aid >> >> >> she wore; She was ______ _____, >> (4) (5) >> >> 4. 5 >> sobbin' at the toll booth in the twilight >> drinkin' Dr. Pepper but I loved her >> weighted down with Twinkies by the off-ramp >> breakin' out with acne near Poughkeepsie >> crawlin' through the prairie with her cobra >> smellin' kind of funny when she shot me >> crashin' through the guardrail on her elbows >> chewin' on a hangnail with Led-Zeppelin >> talkin' in Swahili with Miss Piggy >> slurpin' up linguini in her muu-muu >> >> >> and I knew _______; _______ I'd ______ forever; >> (6) (7) (8) >> >> 6. 7. 8. >> no guy would ever love her more I promised her stay with her >> that she would be an easy score I knew deep down warp her mind >> she'd bought her dentures in a store She asked me if swear off booze >> that she would be a crashing bore I told her shrink change my sex >> I'd never rate her more than "4" The judge declared punch her out >> they'd hate her guts in Baltimore My Pooh Bear said live off her >> it was a raven, nothing more I shrieked in pain have my rash >> we really lost the last World War The painters knew stay a dwarf >> I'd have to scrape her off the floor A Klingon said hate her dog >> what strong deodorants were for My hamster thought pick my nose >> that she was rotten to the core The blood test showed play "Go Fish" >> that I would upchuck on the floor Her rabbi said salivate >> >> >> She said to me ____; But who'd have thought she'd _____ >> (9) (10) >> >> 9. 10. >> our love would never die run off >> there was no other guy wind up >> man wasn't meant to fly boogie >> that Nixon didn't lie yodel >> her basset hound was shy sky dive >> that Rolaids made her high turn green >> she'd have a swiss on rye freak out >> she loved my one blue eye blast off >> her brother's name was Hy make it >> she liked "Spy vs. Spy" black out >> that birthdays made her cry bobsled >> she couldn't stand my tie grovel >> >> ___________; _________ goodbye. >> (11) (12) >> >> 11. 12. >> with my best friend You'd think at least that she'd have said >> in my Edsel I never had the chance to say >> on a surfboard She told her fat friend Grace to say >> on "The Gong Show" I now can kiss my credit cards >> with her dentist I guess I was too smashed to say >> with a robot She fell beneath the wheels and cried >> with no clothes on She sent a hired thug to say >> at her health club She freaked out on the lawn and screamed >> in her Maytag I pushed her off the bridge and waved >> with her guru But that's the way that pygmies say >> while in labor She sealed me in the vault and smirked > > >------ End of Forwarded Message ****************************************************************** Paul Estro- " It's got a yellow front fender [log in to unmask] and a grey one on the back. But my income tax is coming and I'm gonna paint her black. My sweet little 66." -Steve Earle