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Got this today from a different discussion group.  I cleaned it up a
little by chaging one word and bleeping another, but what the heck -
there's no copyright on it.  - Jim Melko
 
__________________ Forwarded Message _________1/5________________
Date:    Mon, 1 May 1995 20:28:23 -0400
From:    Gwen Eckman <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Why it takes a license to drive
 
The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by
the California Department of Transportation's driving school.
.
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same
time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns
don't kill people. I do."
.
Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
A: Always wear a condom.
.
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
.
Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too drunk to find your keys.
 
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive
lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing
yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
.
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.
.
Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: It would be tough to be a ****head all day long.