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Date: Sat, 28 Nov 1998 07:58:12 -0500 (EST)
From: Gary Probst <[log in to unmask]>
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Subject: Forwarded mail....
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---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Sat, 5 Sep 1998 17:54:50 -0400 (EDT)
From: Catherine Cant <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]


-----Original Message-----
From: Kitty Morrison
Subject: Fwd: For all those who have a special place in their heart for a
math professor...


>
>> Do you have a thinking problem?
>>
>> It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now
>and then
>> to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and
>soon I was
>> more than just a social thinker.
>>
>> I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself. But I knew it
>wasn't
>> true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was
>> thinking all the time.
>>
>> I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment
>don't mix,
>> but I couldn't stop myself.
>>
>> I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and
>Kafka. I
>> would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it
>exactly
>> we are doing here?"
>>
>> Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had
>turned off
>> the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that
>night at
>> her mother's.
>>
>> I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called
>me in.
>> He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your
>thinking
>> has become a real problem.
>>
>> "If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another
>one."
>> This gave me a lot to think about.
>>
>> I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I
>confessed,
>> "I've been thinking..."
>>
>> "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"
>>
>> "But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
>>
>> "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as
>college
>> professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you
>keep on
>> thinking we won't have any money!"
>>
>> "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to
>cry. I'd
>> had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out
>the door.
>>
>> As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, a poster
>caught my
>> eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.
>>
>> You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's
>> Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering
>thinker. I
>> never miss a TA meeting.
>>
>> At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was
>> "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking
>since the
>> last meeting.
>>
>> I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just
>> seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
>>
>> >>>>>>>>
>> But have you seen the scientific explanation for why his wife was so
>upset
>> about his thinking?
>> >>>>>>>>
>>
>> After applying some simple algebra to some trite phrases and cliches
>a new
>> understanding can be reached of the secret to wealth and success.
>>
>> Here it goes.
>>
>>  Knowledge is Power
>>  Time is Money and as every engineer knows,
>>  Power is Work over Time.
>>
>> So, substituting algebraic equations for these time worn bits of
>wisdom, we
>> get:
>>  K = P    (1)
>>  T = M    (2)
>>  P = W/T  (3)
>>
>> Now, do a few simple substitutions:
>>
>>  Put W/T in for P in equation (1), which yields:
>>  K = W/T  (4)
>>
>> Put M in for T into equation (4), which yields:
>>
>>  K = W/M  (5).
>>
>> Now we've got something.  Expanding back into English, we get:
>>
>>  Knowledge equals Work over Money.
>>
>> What this MEANS is that:
>>
>>  1. The More You Know, the More Work You Do, and
>>  2. The More You Know, the Less Money You Make.
>>
>> Solving for Money, we get:
>>
>>  M = W/K  (6)
>>  Money equals Work Over Knowledge.
>>
>> From equation (6) we see that Money approaches infinity as Knowledge
>> approaches 0, regardless of the Work done.
>>
>> What THIS MEANS is:
>>
>>  The More you Make, the Less you Know.
>>
>> Solving for Work, we get
>>
>>  W = M K  (7)
>>  Work equals Money times Knowledge
>>
>> From equation (7) we see that
>>
>>  Work approaches 0 as Knowledge approaches 0.
>>
>> What THIS MEANS is:
>>
>>  The stupid rich do little or no work.
>>
>> Working out the socioeconomic implications of this breakthrough is
>left as
>> an exercise for the reader.
>>
>>
>>
>
>==
>   /\_/\
>    o.o
>  =  v  =
>
>   Kitty
>
>
>_________________________________________________________
>DO YOU YAHOO!?
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>
>